What Quip Battle is
Everyone answers two prompts. Each prompt gets two rival answers, and the room votes on every head-to-head. Small group? Seat the house bot and let it take its beating.
Each round shuffles the seats into a wheel and pairs every seat with its neighbour, so you write exactly two answers and meet two different opponents. No prompt is ever dealt to one person, and nobody spends the night facing the same rival.
The face-offs go up one at a time with no names attached. Both authors sit their own matchup out, which means the two people with everything riding on it are the two who cannot vote.
A vote is 100, taking the face-off is 100 more, and a unanimous win adds another 100 — but only where at least two people were voting. At four players or fewer the house bot takes the spare seat and gives the room something to beat.
From our tables
150+ games finished
Games of Quip Battle, played to the end on Table Party between 16 August and 24 September 2026.
10 minutes on average
How long a finished game of Quip Battle really takes here, from the first move to the final score.
How to play Quip Battle
- Every round deals you two prompts. Type your funniest answer to each before the clock runs out — or tap 🎲 for a house quip.
- Each prompt was secretly dealt to two players, so every prompt becomes a head-to-head.
- The face-offs come up one at a time and everyone else votes — authors sit theirs out.
- 100 points per vote plus a win bonus; round two pays double, round three triple. A unanimous sweep pays extra.
- Playing with a small group? The house bot takes a seat and writes answers too.
How to win at Quip Battle
Write the second thought
The first answer that occurred to you probably occurred to the person you’re facing.
Aim at the voters
The only two people who can’t vote on your face-off are you and your opponent, so write for everybody else.
A sweep is worth chasing
Taking every vote in a matchup pays an extra 100 on top of the win.
Short reads faster
Answers cap at 80 characters and a long one takes longer to land than the room gives it.
Don’t lose to the bot
Quip-o-tron writes from a fixed pool of canned lines, so a face-off against it is one you should be winning.
Questions about Quip Battle
What does the house bot actually do?
Quip-o-tron takes a seat at tables of four or fewer and writes from a fixed pool of answers, so every prompt still has two sides. It can top the scoreboard, but the crown at the end goes to the best human.
Why can’t I vote on my own face-off?
Both authors sit it out, or the vote is two people backing themselves. With three players and the bot switched off that leaves one voter per matchup — which is exactly why the bot exists.
How does the scoring work?
100 a vote, 100 for winning the face-off — 50 each if the vote ties — and 100 more for a unanimous sweep with two or more voters.
How many prompts do I get?
Two every round, whatever the table size. The pairing wheel guarantees it: every seat authors two prompts and meets two different opponents.
Is Quip Battle free?
Yes. Every game on Table Party is free, with no accounts, no adverts and nothing to buy.
How many people do you need for Quip Battle?
Between 3 and 12. Below 3 there are not enough of you for the game to work.
Do we need to download anything?
No. One person opens the site and starts a room; everybody else joins by typing the room code on their own phone. Nothing to install, nothing to sign up for.
Can we play Quip Battle over a video call?
Yes. Share the room code in the chat and play with the call running — everything private stays on each player’s own phone.
